I had to write a patriotic poem for English today, and I'm wondering if you have any suggestions to make it better. It has to have a rhyme pattern of ABAAB, CDCCD; and 10 lines. Here it is:
Looking at a clear, crisp sky
and rows and rows of endless wheat
one can only wonder why
he had to leave; to fight, to die.
Why did he go, with no retreat.
In my heart I know it's true;
hoping he was not in vain
My soldier fired and he knew,
There was nothing more that he could do.
For aiding in our freedom's gain.
Thanks for readin' y'all!!
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6 comments:
I LOVE IT!!!! That is sooo amazing!! I'll have to read you my extended metaphor...it's my best one. Anyways, I wouldn't change a thing!! Love ya!
<3 Sheri
well just for sheri, heres the extended metaphor...ugh. it bugs me bc i didn't make it rhyme..( it didn't have to) but yeah w.e. here it is:
Life is like the ocean
ever changing with the waves
fighting with the current
and keeping above the tide
gotta keep swimming, swimming, swimming.
And once you reach the edge,
when your safe and at a peace
the tide again comes around
trying to pull you under
gotta keep fighting, fighting, fighting.
But there's always that one moment
when the sun; it starts to set
and you look upon the ocean
and realize how wonderful it is
gotta keep moving, moving, moving
Because the ocean never sits still.
Okay here's mine...(don't worry, it doesn't rhyme either!!)
Life is like a soccer game.
Each game is a new set of obstacles
Everyday I venture into the unknown
Working toward the same thing as everyone else, the goal.
Some days are harder than others.
Opponents stronger than those the day before.
We fall, but have to get up.
To keep going, we must rise again.
Life moves quickly, mistakes should stay behind me.
I might be slower, but my team has my back.
It's hard to leave mistakes behind sometimes,
But if you don't look forward again, you miss what's going on.
Soccer is a complex game, similar to life's.
I don't win all the challenges,
But I better myself when I lose.
Life is not for sitting on the sidelines, but for playing the game.
what do you think???
love it!
That's great!! I love it!
That's really good!! You get an A+ in my book! ;)
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